I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize