im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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