Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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