I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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