Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
