I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
