Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
