We're like a lot better than the average bears
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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