I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
