either way he was missing a nipple.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
