Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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