I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
