Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
