So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize