Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
