literally had 100 drinks last night.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
