She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
