Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
