this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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