How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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