Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The air was thick with penises
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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