Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
