My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
