closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
