I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
