Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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