matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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