OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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