Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
