I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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