Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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