I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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