Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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