I want you more than these girls want KFC
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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