CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
