Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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