the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
