oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
