i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
two words: eviction party
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Randomize
