I want to stick my p in your. b.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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