After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
