I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
