they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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