Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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