Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize