her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
