Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
