what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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