my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
