She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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