You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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