It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize