but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
