Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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