His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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