Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
