i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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