But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
