so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
