Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
