so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
