Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
